The other blog...and how we all should have seen it coming.

Well...blogging is like life. If you want to be successful, you have to be consistent, driven, and never (ever) quit. Obviously I have failed horribly at the first two items, so this is a rather ragged attempt to thwart off the third. My excuses for not blogging mostly have to do with laundry, and laziness, both which need no further explanation. My husband's excuse, however, is much more scandalous, shameful, and therefore...interesting.

And now, for the big confession. My husband has been unfaithful to this blog. He's been spending the last few months with a sexy little number known as the fv3triathlon.blogspot.com. That blog has consumed him like nothing else. Not to mention the toll that his extensive training has taken on our lives, and our marriage. The highs (how he thought he would perform on race day) and the lows (how he actually performed on race day) have shaken our foundation to its core. He even stooped so low as to blame his crushing Memorial Day defeat on the lack of familial support come triathlon morning. I tried in vain to explain that the girls and I were supporting him with all we had from the comfort of our own beds. The fact that we were in a deep and blissful sleep at 7:30 a.m., rather than watching him gutting it out on the field of battle has nothing to do with how we feel about him as a father, a husband, and a man. It may have something to do with how we feel about him as a triathlete, but that's a different story.

Anyway, don't worry about us. I'm sure the damage is nothing a little marriage counseling, ice cream, and creative editing of the race day footage can't repair. And for all of you wives out there trying the best you can to support your man in the pursuit of his dreams of greatness...make t-shirts. I thought about it, didn't do it, noticed that other wives did (wives whose husband's beat my husband by a humiliating margin), and feel that overall my entire family has suffered as a result. On a high note, Brett might possibly make his way back here for some quality blogging. I, on the other hand, may be too busy training for the Labor Day Triathlon. I think I can beat his time...

Musings on Motherhood

About a week ago, a co-worker of Brett's phoned me to ask a few questions about being a stay-at-home mom. She recently had her first baby, and is making the difficult decision as to whether or not she should stay home, or keep working. As I listened to all of her reasons, expectations, and fears, I tried to stay neutral and be as honest as I possibly could be. Bottom line is, I probably terrified her. For me, it's a no brainer, I really do strongly believe that moms (or dads) should stay home with their kids. I had children to HAVE them, to teach them, to introduce them to the world, to EXPERIENCE being a parent, to be there for every little tragedy and victory that occurs on a daily basis. Mostly though, I realized one thing early on - nobody will care for your child the way that you would. Even if they are the best nanny/day care worker/relative (of whatever degree) on the planet, they're not you. Being a mother every hour of every day has definitely been the best thing I have ever done. It is the most rewarding job a woman could ever have. I really believe that. It does, however, have a definite down side.

First of all, there are no quarterly reviews. Nobody pulls you in to say, "Thanks, great job, we're giving you a raise and a promotion." Very rarely do people SPONTANEOUSLY say thank you, except for your husband (if you have a good one, which luckily, I do). Usually "thank you" only occurs after repetitive prompting. Even when you're children get better at it, the really heartfelt expressions of gratitude will probably not occur until they have kids of their own. Secondly, there are no coffee breaks, no lunch breaks, and you don't get to punch out at five o'clock. In reality, being a stay-at-home parent is a RELENTLESS task. There is ALWAYS something, or someone that needs your attention. I'm not saying that you NEVER get to take five minutes and read a book. I'm just saying that you RARELY get the opportunity, and it's usually at the expense of something else. Thirdly, your co-workers never surprise you with a birthday cake in the break room. If there is a birthday cake anywhere in your future, you will bake it. Lastly, you get stupid. The lack of adult conversation, knowledge of current events, sleep deprivation, and constant multi-tasking, eventually erode your brain. It's sad, but it's reality. The good news is that mothers' brains, much like lizards' tails, seem to regenerate themselves once their kids get older. Your flabby stomach, however, is entirely up to you and will do nothing to repair itself on its own.

Speaking of flab - I have to say that as I spoke to this woman, who seemed amazed at my ability to handle two children (let alone one) I suddenly felt strong, brave, and empowered beyond belief. I realized that as my mind and body have grown a bit mushy, my resolve has been sharpened to a steely point. There is nothing that I can't accomplish! There is nothing left to fear! Any foul and hideous smelling liquid (or solid for that matter) that can be secreted, or expelled with force from the human body - holds no horror for me! I'm never woozy at the site of blood, I once stuck my hand into the toilet to retrieve a toy that was resting on a bunch of you-know-what without flinching. My emergency response skills can rival any trained EMT. Not only can I survive off four hours of sleep, I can maintain sanity, quell arguments, avert disasters, heal owies with magic kisses, and repair princess dresses. I am a force to be reckoned with. I am a mother.

At the end of this conversation, I told this woman what I would tell anyone faced with the same decision. Just be the best mom you can be. Be honest with yourself about what that is, and don't feel guilty by comparison. Feel guilty if you're doing a cruddy job and need to re-evaluate, but never feel badly because you're not quite June Cleaver. Whenever I'm overwhelmed, exhausted, or just want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bowl of cookie dough leaving my children to their own devices - I try to think of the amazing things that have happened over the past few years. One of my most vivid memories of my oldest daughter involves being in a store with her and my husband when she was around 18 months old. We were waiting in line, and my husband was holding her. She was smiling and laughing when she suddenly cuddled into her dad, snuggling her head into his chest, and said, "Happy...happy." That's what it's all about.

The Primary Transition

Jan 7, 2007 marked our oldest girls first day in Primary (at church). Starting at 18 months they go to Nursury where they play with other kids, sing songs, have snacks, fight over toys and learn a few lessons. The January after turning 3 they start primary where there are with kids from 3 to 12 years old; each age group having their own teacher and sitting together. I happened to be in primary on her first day to see her nerves and excitement.

Her introduction was a bit overwhelming; I sat with her for a few minutes to help settle her in and then she sat by a girl that offered to hold her hand and be her friend. For the next 15 minutes I laughed from the back of the room while she pulled her hands away from her new friend and stuck them in her arm pits. We later learned that she likes the new friend but didn't know how to tell her to stop touching her.

By the end of church she loved primary and couldn't wait to get back. Week 2 was fun as she learned "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and was invited to say the prayer next week.

Kids grow up.

The Noble Experiment

So he's finally done it. He's canceled the cable. And although I oftentimes refer to him, lovingly, as "The Dictator" (a nickname he seems to GREATLY dislike), I have to admit that I too played some small role in the decision. Sure, when the topic was initially broached, I was all for the idea. Less t.v. equals less brain damage, less moral decay, and more time for reading wholesome books like "Little Women", right? But let's remember that all of this discussion took place in the theoretical realm. Many things sound great in theory, things like Communism, socialized medicine, and the Atkins diet. But in reality, how much bacon can you stand to eat? The hard cold truth of the matter is that all of this "discussion" took place far, far away from frantic mornings where parking my three-year-old in front of Noggin for a few commercial free, educational cartoons was the only way to get us all dressed, all fed, and out the door on time. What's the harm in letting "Little Bear" mellow the kids out for an afternoon nap? What's wrong with spending a little quality time with Oprah on occasion? The woman is single-handedly saving Africa for cryin' out loud! Or at least you would think so from watching her show. Now I admit that at times I felt slightly ashamed about my television consumption. Sure, "Grey's Anatomy" is a bit racy and borderline cheesy at times, but it's effective. So I've spent some time "Dancing with the Stars", but who among you can cast the first stone? And then there's "24", excessively violent, perhaps, but I can't bring myself to criticize Jack Bauer...can you?

As the cut off date loomed nearer, I found myself consumed with the thought of no television. I became angry, combative, and defensive, and that was usually by breakfast time. I was blind to whatever damage television might be wreaking in my household and began to look only at the virtues. How would we know what was happening in the world? Heaven forbid we'd have to get some sort of newspaper, or check out the Drudge report here and there. How would we entertain ourselves? Would we have to talk? Pick up hobbies? Do crafts? And when it became clear that my husband had made up his mind, and the end was inevitable...I simply grieved. Grieved for the loss of good friends, and good times...fictitious friends, and make-believe times, but good nonetheless.

Anyway, I'm sad to admit that my fears for the most part were ungrounded. Just like an addict realizing that drugs ARE in fact, bad for you, or at the very least, completely unnecessary, I stand before you a changed woman. Well...not that changed. We've just been watching a lot more movies (bless the creator of Netflix wherever he/she may be). And did you know that you can watch full episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" online? Not to mention, I can get through a whole season of "24" in a matter of days (once again, Netflix). As for the increased productivity, book reading, and actual living, it hasn't happened yet. As I've discovered, which most mothers of small children probably already know, kids don't like it when you read. Even if they're playing, or busy doing something else. If you're not reading to them, you're not reading to anyone. I guess the point is that television viewing only takes about a third of your attention to follow, whereas books take it all (kids are savvy to that). We have big plans though. We're already a pretty active family, and spend loads of time outdoors, but indoors, ah...there's the rub. I'm going to start to play the cello again, I hope to get up early and write (since I won't be staying up late vegging out in front of the t.v.), and yes...the kids and I will explore the world of crafts. We've skimmed the surface, but apparently there's MUCH more. I hate to admit it, but The Dictator might be right. Maybe we can get along without television. But maybe I'll have a nervous breakdown in a month. Stay tuned.

Televised Virtues

The past 4 weeks have been illuminating - a shift in perspective. For as long as I can remember, spending time watching TV has been viewed as a negative. I imagine my view was formed early on by a mom and dad who put me in sports and other activities outside of the house. Then, when I turned on the television, I heard about the time that was being "wasted".

We started talking about getting rid of cable about a year and 1/2 ago but there was always a new season of 24, the start of the NBA, or a hospital drama that couldn't be missed. Then we planned 2 weeks away from home over Christmas which seemed like the perfect time to cut the coax.

Since that time, in light of in-house conversation, I've begun to understand the virtue of television. And considering the far reach of this blog thought it would be a perfect vehicle to get the information out to the masses.

Emily, when time permits, will you kindly share these benefits? Much Appreciated!

Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas everyone (Kelly)! Rather than getting the normal witty and picture filled Christmas letter, full of the fun and new things the kids did this year (like getting born) you get this post! It's not that we don't want you to know of what's happened, but events beyond our control have kept it from being written. The most recent such event was an uplifting late-night movie. I don't know the details, or even the title of the movie (unfortunately, I was away from home and didn't catch the sister-discussion) just that it was time very well spent.

Assuming we get the strength to cancel Dish Network (and say goodbye to Jack Bauer) there will be plenty of time to write the letter next year.


So for now, Merry Christmas one and all (...well one)!

So it's come to this...

I'm beginning to understand the process that it will take for Brett and I BOTH to become prolific bloggers. He will think about it, but not actually do it. He will then remind me to write something, but still not ACTUALLY do anything himself. He will become frustrated by my lack of progression, think about other qualities I have that annoy him, hold me up for public ridicule in a blog he FINALLY manages to shoot off, then sit back and enjoy the backlash that he knows will follow. Very shrewd, and might I say...disturbingly effective.

I regret to admit that I have NOT been grossly misrepresented in my husband's last blog, and therefore cannot accuse him of any kind of malicious slander. However, I am distressed and saddened by his obvious lack of appreciation for real life narrative at its finest. It's true, I do tend to tell a story...refine it a bit through further research, one-on-one consultations, and group forums...rehearse it again, noting my audiences reaction to the new information...and finally, present it completely with props, lighting, and appropriate music. Anything less than this, I'm afraid, would just be irresponsible. We're talking about LIFE here! The beauty of the seemingly unimportant! Nobody can stay in the "big picture" forever! Can they?! Can they?!!!

Sorry, it's difficult to stay composed when we're discussing something this important. You would think, if anything, he would be GRATEFUL for the new and improved memory the repetition of our lives has brought about. The difference has been significant. I no longer have to introduce myself to him every morning, remind him of how many children we have, or draw him a map to work. I still have to show him where he keeps his own stuff, but hey...baby steps, right?

And just for the record, when he refers to events that even I have forgotten, he actually means memories that he shares with someone else, or has entirely fabricated. Like when he insists that he watched a certain movie with me, and cannot for the life of him understand why I am incapable of recalling anything about the film, or the circumstances under which we viewed it, until he suddenly remembers the face and name of the ex-girlfriend that he ACTUALLY saw the movie with. Yeah...details, people...they're important.