The Noble Experiment

So he's finally done it. He's canceled the cable. And although I oftentimes refer to him, lovingly, as "The Dictator" (a nickname he seems to GREATLY dislike), I have to admit that I too played some small role in the decision. Sure, when the topic was initially broached, I was all for the idea. Less t.v. equals less brain damage, less moral decay, and more time for reading wholesome books like "Little Women", right? But let's remember that all of this discussion took place in the theoretical realm. Many things sound great in theory, things like Communism, socialized medicine, and the Atkins diet. But in reality, how much bacon can you stand to eat? The hard cold truth of the matter is that all of this "discussion" took place far, far away from frantic mornings where parking my three-year-old in front of Noggin for a few commercial free, educational cartoons was the only way to get us all dressed, all fed, and out the door on time. What's the harm in letting "Little Bear" mellow the kids out for an afternoon nap? What's wrong with spending a little quality time with Oprah on occasion? The woman is single-handedly saving Africa for cryin' out loud! Or at least you would think so from watching her show. Now I admit that at times I felt slightly ashamed about my television consumption. Sure, "Grey's Anatomy" is a bit racy and borderline cheesy at times, but it's effective. So I've spent some time "Dancing with the Stars", but who among you can cast the first stone? And then there's "24", excessively violent, perhaps, but I can't bring myself to criticize Jack Bauer...can you?

As the cut off date loomed nearer, I found myself consumed with the thought of no television. I became angry, combative, and defensive, and that was usually by breakfast time. I was blind to whatever damage television might be wreaking in my household and began to look only at the virtues. How would we know what was happening in the world? Heaven forbid we'd have to get some sort of newspaper, or check out the Drudge report here and there. How would we entertain ourselves? Would we have to talk? Pick up hobbies? Do crafts? And when it became clear that my husband had made up his mind, and the end was inevitable...I simply grieved. Grieved for the loss of good friends, and good times...fictitious friends, and make-believe times, but good nonetheless.

Anyway, I'm sad to admit that my fears for the most part were ungrounded. Just like an addict realizing that drugs ARE in fact, bad for you, or at the very least, completely unnecessary, I stand before you a changed woman. Well...not that changed. We've just been watching a lot more movies (bless the creator of Netflix wherever he/she may be). And did you know that you can watch full episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" online? Not to mention, I can get through a whole season of "24" in a matter of days (once again, Netflix). As for the increased productivity, book reading, and actual living, it hasn't happened yet. As I've discovered, which most mothers of small children probably already know, kids don't like it when you read. Even if they're playing, or busy doing something else. If you're not reading to them, you're not reading to anyone. I guess the point is that television viewing only takes about a third of your attention to follow, whereas books take it all (kids are savvy to that). We have big plans though. We're already a pretty active family, and spend loads of time outdoors, but indoors, ah...there's the rub. I'm going to start to play the cello again, I hope to get up early and write (since I won't be staying up late vegging out in front of the t.v.), and yes...the kids and I will explore the world of crafts. We've skimmed the surface, but apparently there's MUCH more. I hate to admit it, but The Dictator might be right. Maybe we can get along without television. But maybe I'll have a nervous breakdown in a month. Stay tuned.